5 Ways to Handle Holiday Anxiety When Everyone Else Looks “Merry”
If the holidays make your chest tight and your brain loud, you’re not alone. Crowded rooms, stretched budgets, family dynamics, and nonstop plans can flip your nervous system into high alert, especially if you live with anxiety, ADHD, or trauma. Here are five kind, doable ways to get through the season with more steadiness (and less self-blame).
1) Make a “Minimum Holiday Plan” (Your Bare-Needs List)
When everything feels urgent, anxiety spikes. Drop the pressure with a simple, daily 3-item checklist that keeps your body and brain online.
Try this daily:
Protein + water within an hour of waking
Take meds/supplements you rely on
Move for 5 minutes (walk, stretch, stairs, dance to one song)
Why it helps: Blood sugar, medication consistency, and micro-movement all reduce anxious spikes. Low lift, big payoff.
2) Use Tiny Exit Strategies (So You Can Say Yes and Stay Regulated)
You can attend, and still protect your energy. Pre-plan how you’ll step away before the overwhelm hits.
Scripts to screenshot:
“I’m going to grab some air, back in a few.”
“I’d love to keep chatting after I refill my drink.”
“I’m stepping out for a quick call, save me a seat?”
Nervous system helpers:
Temperature reset: cool water on wrists, step outside for 60 seconds
Grounding: 4-7-8 breathing x3 cycles, or name 5 things you see
Sensory kit: loops/earplugs, mint gum, fidget ring, lip balm, mini snack
Why it helps: Planned exits prevent the “I’m trapped” panic and let your body downshift without leaving early (unless you want to).
3) Practice “One Kind Line + One Clear Line.”
Anxiety often over explains. Keep boundaries short and kind, less room for pushback, less rumination later.
Holiday boundary examples:
“Thanks for inviting me. I’m keeping things simple this year.”
“I care about you, and I’m going to pass on that tradition.”
“I can stop by 3–4 pm. If I miss you before I go, happy holidays!”
If they push (broken-record calm):
“I hear you. My plan’s the same.”
“I get it. This is what I’m able to do.”
Why it helps: Clear, repeated language supports anxious brains and trains others to respect your limits.
4) Rename the Feeling (And Park the Thought)
Anxious spirals thrive on vagueness. Give the feeling a name and give the thought a place to live.
In the moment:
Name it: “This is anxiety + overstimulation.”
Park it (Notes app): “Worry → Action? → Revisit time.”
“Aunt seemed off. Action? None. Revisit: tomorrow 10 a.m.”
Why it helps: Labeling reduces intensity; “parking” stops the loop because your brain trusts you’ll come back if needed.
5) Choose Presence Over Performance
You don’t owe the holidays a perfect version of you. Pick tiny, meaningful moments instead of doing everything.
Pick one “presence” ritual:
Light a candle and name one thing you’re grateful to have survived this year
Share a 2-song dance in the kitchen with someone you love
Take a photo of a quiet corner that felt like relief
Text a “thinking of you” to the person who makes you exhale
Why it helps: Anxiety narrows your view to what could go wrong. Presence widens it to what’s already okay.
ADHD & Trauma-Savvy Add-Ons
Time anchors: “Leave by 6:45,” “Call safe person at 7:30.”
Seat choice: Back to a wall, face the door; your body will settle faster.
Co-regulate: Tell a trusted person, “If I say ‘air break,’ will you walk with me?”
Blood sugar: Snack before events; protein + salty carb beats the sugar crash.
Gentle Reminder
If the holidays are tender because of loss, conflict, or old memories, feeling “off” makes sense. Your nervous system is trying to protect you. You’re allowed to do less. You’re allowed to make it smaller. You’re allowed to feel how you feel.
If you want support building a plan that fits your brain and your life, we’re here.
📅 Ideal Psychology Group offers virtual therapy across Michigan, for anxiety, ADHD, trauma, and holiday stress. We provide telehealth counseling, neurodivergent therapy, and virtual EMDR from home.
💙 BCBS & BCN online therapy accepted.
👉 Book at idealpsychologygroup.com
