“They Used to Be So Happy…” What Teen Burnout Looks Like (and How to Help)

You remember that spark in your teen, the laughter, the endless stories, the way they used to fill the house with energy.

But lately… things feel different. They come home from school and disappear into their room. They’re exhausted, irritable, or on edge. They say they’re “fine,” but you can tell something’s off.

They’re not lazy. They’re not being dramatic.
They might be burned out.

And teen burnout looks a little different than adult burnout; it hides behind silence, irritability, and that “nothing matters” attitude that breaks your heart to see.

What Teen Burnout Really Looks Like

When adults burn out, we usually call it what it is: stress, overwhelm, exhaustion. But when teens hit that wall, people often mislabel it as “attitude” or “disrespect.”

Here’s what it often actually looks like:

• A teen who used to care about grades suddenly gives up or says, “whatever.”

• They sleep more but never seem rested.

• Their once-full social calendar becomes an empty one.

• They cry easily, snap over small things, or shut down completely.

• You find yourself walking on eggshells around them.

For neurodivergent teens (especially those with ADHD or sensory sensitivities), burnout can hit even harder. Every day takes more energy, keeping up with school, social rules, and expectations, until their brain and body finally say, “I can’t keep doing this.”

Why It Happens (and Why It’s Not “Just Teen Moodiness”)

Teen burnout isn’t about laziness or rebellion; it’s about overload.

Teens today are balancing constant stimulation, school pressure, social media, sports, part-time jobs, and the unspoken pressure to “be okay” all the time.

If your teen also struggles with ADHD, anxiety, or trauma, their nervous system is already working harder just to get through the day. Add in high expectations or perfectionism, and it’s no wonder they feel emotionally tapped out.

Sometimes burnout happens after a period of masking, pretending everything’s fine, so they don’t let anyone down. By the time you notice it, they’ve already been running on empty for months.

What You Can Do to Help

You can’t force your teen out of burnout.
But you can create the conditions that help them recover, connect, rest, and feel emotional safety.

Here’s where to start:

1. Focus on Connection, Not Correction

When your teen is withdrawn or irritable, it’s easy to slip into problem-solving or frustration. But what they need most is your presence, not your pressure.
✨ Try saying:

“You don’t seem like yourself lately. I’m not mad, I’m just here if you want to talk.”

This helps them feel safe instead of defensive.

2. Remove the “Shoulds”

Teens are already drowning in expectations. When burnout hits, taking something off their plate isn’t giving up; it’s giving them room to breathe.
✨ Try this: let them drop one activity, get an extra hour of rest, or take a mental health day.

When you show that rest is okay, you teach them it’s safe to be human.

3. Help Them Name What They Feel

Burnout is hard to talk about when you don’t have words for it. Many teens just say, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”
✨ Try this:

“It sounds like you’re tired, not just physically, but emotionally. That’s okay. We can figure this out together.”

Naming it turns confusion into clarity.

4. Get Support (for Both of You)

You can love your teen deeply and still need help supporting them. Burnout, especially in neurodivergent or anxious teens, often needs a safe, neutral space, where they can unpack what’s really going on without pressure or judgment.

✨ Therapy can help your teen:

• Learn emotional regulation and coping tools

• Reduce anxiety and overwhelm

• Rebuild motivation and confidence

• Feel understood in a world that often asks too much of them

And it can help you too, because watching your teen struggle is its own kind of burnout.

💛 You’re Not Failing. You’re Showing Up.

If you’ve found yourself lying awake, wondering how to reach your teen again, that’s love.
You’re already doing the most important thing: noticing, caring, and wanting to help.

You don’t have to do it alone.

📅 At Ideal Psychology Group, we support teens and parents across Michigan navigating ADHD, burnout, anxiety, and disconnection.
💻 We offer virtual therapy that fits real family life, and we accept Blue Cross Blue Shield of Michigan (BCBS) and Blue Care Network (BCN).
✨ Book a session today at idealpsychologygroup.com

Because your teen deserves more than to “get through” the day, and you deserve support, too.