ADHD & Friendships in a Nutshell 🧠💬

If you’ve got ADHD, there’s a good chance your friendships don’t always look like everyone else’s, and that’s okay.

You might be someone who’s incredibly present when you're with your people. When you're together, you're all in: deep conversations, big laughs, total connection. But then... life happens. Work, stress, distractions, the never-ending to-do list, and suddenly it’s been weeks (or months 😬) since you’ve texted back.

Sound familiar?

It’s Not You, It’s Object Permanence 🌀

One reason this happens is something called “object permanence,” or more accurately, how ADHD brains sometimes struggle with it. It’s not that you forget your friends exist or stop caring. It’s that when someone’s not right in front of you, they can kind of fade from your mental radar.

You’re not ignoring people—you’re just hyper-focused on what’s in front of you right now. The ADHD brain is wired to respond to immediacy, not intention. So even though you love your friends deeply, remembering to reach out can fall off the map.

Some People Need More Contact 📲

Here's where it gets tricky: not everyone experiences friendship this way. Some people need consistent check-ins to feel close. When they don’t hear from you, they might assume something’s wrong or feel hurt, thinking you don’t care.

It’s not personal, but they might not know that.

You’re Not a Bad Friend 💛

Let me say that again louder for the folks in the back: you’re not a bad friend. You’re doing your best with a brain that works a little differently, and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Here’s what can help:

✅ Be Honest

Let your people know what’s up. Something simple like:
"Hey, I’m not always great at staying in touch, but please know I care about you even when I go quiet."
Most people will be more understanding than you think.

✅ Set Reminders

Put “text Sarah” on your calendar. Use sticky notes. Set a phone alarm. ADHD brains love a good external system.

✅ Don’t Let Shame Stop You

Even if it’s been a while, it’s okay to reach back out. You don’t need an excuse or apology—just a “Hey, I’ve been thinking about you!” works.

Need Support Navigating ADHD Life? 📘

If all this hits a little too hard and you’re feeling overwhelmed trying to manage it on your own, we get it. At Ideal Psychology Group, we specialize in helping neurodivergent adults understand their brains, communicate better, and build relationships that actually work for them.

Whether you're navigating ADHD, anxiety, perfectionism, or just need a space to talk it out—we’re here.

👉 Book a session and let’s figure it out together.

You don’t have to keep doing this alone.